Do you want to constantly have more amazing dances?
Many of us have experienced amazing dances, good dances, ok dances, not so good dances or sometimes even downright horrible dances.
But what are the factors that determine the level of enjoyment you have?
How can we ensure we have the most amazing dances possible, night after night, with every single partner?
The Benefits
What I am about to share with you has allowed me to experience many month long "Dance Highs" in my home town that I would normally only experience when attending the top events in the world with the best of the best social dancers.
This concept will allow you to increase the percentage of amazing dances you have, turning the horrible (or just ok) dances into good dances, the good dances into great dances, and the amazing dances into the unforgettable ones.
You will soon have WAY MORE control over whether or not you will have great dances each and every time you dance!
The Requirements
To gain the benefits above, be prepared to do the following...in this order:
- Finish "Your Task" below (1-2 minutes)
- Read the rest of this content (3-6 minutes)
- Use “The Trick” the next time you go dancing
Your Task
Before I share this tip on how to have more amazing dances, let's check to see what your current thoughts are...
What makes an amazing dance for you?
Quickly enter 10 different ways to finish the sentence below:
I have more amazing dances when...
Insert Subject
Ex: I, my partner, the music, the floor...
Insert Action
Ex: connect well, is smooth, smiles...
You'll see more examples filled in below but go ahead and overwrite them with your own.
Ok, it is your turn now...
Try to do this in less than 1 minute...ignore spelling & grammar...the faster you answer, the better, because it taps into your subconscious.
Ok, ready...go!
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
I have more amazing dances when...
I have more amazing dances when...
STOP!
Please do NOT read below until you have finished your task above!
If you did not write these 10 things out and instead, only thought of them in your mind, scroll back up and write them down.
Writing them down is important because...
- The details of how you say what you say are important
- You won’t forget the small details of what you wrote down
- You will have an exact record of your very first thoughts before I have any influence on you
Ok, now that you have done that...let's continue!
Let's start by looking at 10 of the...
Most Common Responses
I have more amazing dances when…
- they play great music
- my partner has a nice connection
- my partner is smiling or enjoying the dance
- the dance floor is smooth
- everyone is having fun
- my partner is challenging me but in a nice way
- I have a creative partner
- the venue has a good vibe or atmosphere
- my follow doesn’t anticipate
- my leader is not just doing every move he knows but is actually dancing
What do all these answers have in common?
Compare them to your own answers. Do any of yours stick out as different? If so, how?
Ok, now let's look at this...
Less Common Response
I have more amazing dances when...
- I am really feeling the music and connecting to my partner
What is the difference in this statement compared to the previous ten statements?
So the difference is...
Everyone of the first ten answers requires someone or something else to make the dance amazing. The music, your partner, the floor, the atmosphere, etc…
Put another way...
The most common answers to "what makes a dance amazing?" all give someone else control over whether or not you have amazing dances.
Let me say that again in another way, so it really hits home...
When asking the average experienced dancer for their top 10 things that make a dance amazing, usually well over 50% (and on average 70%) of their responses give someone else control over whether or not they have amazing dances!
They are all passive responses.
Whether you are waiting for the DJ to play the right song, the venue owner to purchase a better floor, or your dance partner to smile, give you a “better” connection, or become a better dancer…
...by focusing on these things, you are waiting for others to make your dances more enjoyable and possibly even blaming them if it doesn't happen (their connection was "bad", they were off time, they ignored me, etc).
But in my experience, if we improve certain aspects of our dancing, then our partner's skill level (or any of these other factors) doesn't actually have to matter...
...and needing or waiting for someone else to improve their skill level (or any of these other factors)...is actually hurting your ability to improve your dancing!
The Single Biggest Factor For Amazing Dances
I have found that the single biggest factor for having amazing dances starts with how you think.
Is my natural state of mind to take action or to wait for someone else to make the dance amazing?
Originally, it was definitely to wait for someone else...
...but not anymore!
After I started adjusting my thoughts (and actions) to be more active & focusing on me, like the less common example, I ended up having WAY MORE amazing dances.
Now, I constantly experience month long spurts in my home town where almost every night I go dancing, I am on a "dance high" that I only used to get when dancing at the top events in the world.
And now when I share this with my students and other instructors, they have similar experiences too!
For example, remember this testimonial from earlier...
This is just one of many quotes on the difference we can make for your dancing when you join our Dance Ninjas Dance Training.
Here are a few more...
Folkdans Instructor, Belgium
Blues & Fusion Dancer, Sacramento, CA
Ok, let's take a look at your responses...
Did all your answers focus on external factors that required someone else to do something or did some of them focus solely on internal factors about yourself?
If you had any internal factors, share them below in the comments. They are rare and extremely valuable!
If you didn't, don't worry, that is normal. From surveying thousands of dancers on this topic, the average group gives about 70% external factors, but within that group there are plenty of people who give 100% external factors.
This is normal. Don't beat yourself up about it.
That said, you don't have to be normal!
I decided years ago that I wanted to start having amazing dances with everyone.
After realizing what I just shared with you, I started analyzing every spot in my dancing where I could take more responsibility & more action towards being the one to make the dance more amazing...
...and I have learned some mind blowing ideas from looking at dance thru this lens and I doubt I would have discovered them if I was just dancing and taking classes like I did in my first few years.
Let's start with this super simple psychological trick to quickly start having more amazing dances without even needing to improve your skill level (although we highly recommend doing that as well).
The Simple Psychological Trick
The next time you go dancing...
A. Instead of looking around the room for someone who gives you amazing dances and asking them to dance… look around the room for someone that you can give an amazing dance to and ask them instead.
Or…
B. When you are done dancing with someone, just turn around and ask the next person you see to dance and if they say yes, commit to having a good... nay... an amazing dance with them, no matter who they are, what their experience level, etc.
These tasks might seem really simple but don't let that stop you from experiencing the power in them. They might not seem much different from what you are probably doing right now...
...but in my experience teaching this to thousands of dancers, from beginners to international champions, it's a game changer.
Besides, what do you have to lose?
Now, of course, you don’t have to do this all of the time, and even when you do it, you probably won’t succeed every time and that's ok. Because you will succeed A LOT more often by taking action & focusing on what you can do, compared to waiting for it to magically happen.
Magic DancesIf a great dance seems to happen magically, and you don't feel you did anything different compared to your other dances, it probably wasn’t magic... ...it was probably your partner. |
| Dance Ninjas Dance Training Be that partner who constantly creates the magic! |
Of course, there are many more physical things you can do to enjoy more dances... but for now, try this trick. It's a game changer!
It will definitely increase the percentage of amazing dances you have, and for some of you it will be the spark that allows you to have amazing dance after amazing dance all night long!
Dance Ninjas Dance Member ExtraAccess your ‘Make Every Dance More Amazing’ Lesson Plan in Dance Ninjas Training Area. Start here and master the 7 different strategies to have more amazing dances with everyone you encounter. |
| Not a DN Dance member? Click here to learn more about Dance Ninjas Dance Training |
Your Homework
1. Try trick A & B the next time you go dancing.
You might find one of them works better for you because of where you are in your dancing. Use that one for a little while and then try the other one again later to keep things fresh.
2. Share your biggest "Aha" or any internal factors in the comments below.
Sharing will root this concept more firmly in your brain so you are more likely to remember it later. Plus, it shares your thoughts with others, and sharing is awesome! 🙂
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Most Common Responses
Here are 10 very common responses:
I have more amazing dances when…
- they play great music.
- my partner has a nice connection.
- my partner is smiling or enjoying the dance.
- the dance floor is smooth.
- everyone is having fun.
- my partner is challenging me but in a nice way.
- I have a creative partner.
- the venue has a good vibe or atmosphere.
- my follow doesn’t anticipate.
- my leader is not just doing every move he knows but is actually dancing.
What do all these answers have in common? Compare them to your own answers. Do any of yours stick out as different? If so, how?
Less Common Response
Ok, now let's look at this less common response.
I have more amazing dances when...
- I am really feeling the music and connecting to my partner.
What is the difference in this statement compared to the previous ten statements?
Did all your answers focus on external factors that required someone else to do something or did some of them focus solely on internal factors about yourself?
If you had any internal factors, share them below in the comments. They are rare and extremely valuable!
If you didn’t, don’t worry, that is normal. From surveying thousands of dancers on this topic, the average group gives about 70% external factors, but within that group there are plenty of people who give 100% external factors.
This is normal. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
That said, you don’t have to be normal!
I decided years ago that I wanted to start having amazing dances with everyone.
After realizing what I just shared with you, I started analyzing every spot in my dancing where I could take more responsibility & more action towards being the one to make the dance more amazing…
…and I have learned some mind blowing ideas from looking at dance thru this lens and I doubt I would have discovered them if I was just dancing and taking classes like I did in my first few years.
Let’s start with this super simple psychological trick to quickly start having more amazing dances without even needing to improve your skill level (although we highly recommend doing that as well).
The Simple Psychological Trick
The next time you go dancing…
A. Instead of looking around the room for someone who gives you amazing dances and asking them to dance… look around the room for someone that you can give an amazing dance to and ask them instead.
OR...
B. When you are done dancing with someone, just turn around and ask the next person you see to dance and if they say yes, commit to having a good… nay… an amazing dance with them, no matter who they are, what their experience level, etc.
These tasks might seem really simple but don’t let that stop you from experiencing the power in them. They might not seem much different from what you are probably doing right now…
…but in my experience teaching this to thousands of dancers, from beginners to international champions, it’s a game changer.
Besides, what do you have to lose?
Now, of course, you don’t have to do this all of the time, and even when you do it, you probably won’t succeed every time and that’s ok. Because you will succeed A LOT more often by taking action & focusing on what you can do, compared to waiting for it to magically happen.
Magic Dances
If a great dance seems to happen magically, and you don’t feel you did anything different compared to your other dances, it probably wasn’t magic…
…it was probably your partner.
Of course, there are many more physical things you can do to enjoy more dances… but for now, try this trick. It’s a game changer!
It will definitely increase the percentage of amazing dances you have, and for some of you it will be the spark that allows you to have amazing dance after amazing dance all night long!
Your Homework
1. Try trick A & B the next time you go dancing.
You might find one of them works better for you because of where you are in your dancing. Use that one for a little while and then try the other one again later to keep things fresh.
2. Share your biggest “Aha” or any internal factors in the comments below.
Sharing will root this concept more firmly in your brain so you are more likely to remember it later. Plus, it shares your thoughts with others, and sharing is awesome!
Attitude is everything … but maybe I’ve been following Andrew too long. Most of my list wasn’t actually external factors.
I’m curious to hear what internal factors showed up on other people’s lists …
The #1 thing I do for myself is to tune in to the music *before* I start dancing. If I’m not feeling the music, I’ll spend a song or two with my eyes closed to really feel the music, and imagine myself singing or playing to it. Even if I don’t usually like the genre, if I put myself in a mindset where I’m contributing to the music, I’ll generally start enjoying myself.
This is a great tip that I’d love to see more people put into action. I can’t say that I manage to do this every time I dance, but I definitely have a better time when I do!
Life is too short to waste time and energy wishing that your dance partner was more skilled, or whatever . . . Besides, dancing with people of all levels makes me fell better about my dancing, and then I enjoy it more as well.
I’ve heard it said to dance *every* dance as if it were the last dance of your life. That mindset will make the best of it each time, right?
@grrl That is a great idea! I don’t know if it would work every time as I find that it is helpful to change up the approach every once in awhile to keep things from getting stale or feeling normal. This is also why I suggest changing up the approach between A & B mentioned in the Trick section above.
These are all great tools and the more tools we have to choose from, the more we can have non-stop amazing dances all night every night. I will definitely add your idea to my toolkit. Thanks for sharing!
Most of mine were internal, as well. Partly from interacting with Andrew’s philosophy and mostly from the work I’ve been doing in my own life to be more in tune with and control of how I experience life.
Here’s my list – it was fun to do the exercise again:
I connect to the music (even if it’s just for a moment)
I decide to enjoy myself
I use good posture and am in control of my own body movement
I express what I need
My partner honors what I need
I give myself permission to fail
I treat things as “yes-and”
I add my voice to the dance
The music is inspiring
I listen to my partner
Some things to think about for myself with lesson planning and what I want to share 🙂
Great exercise.
Thanks AlexKizz!!